


Dealing with Feelings

by ThisIsLitaE



Series: Barisi on the Run [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi - Freeform, Crimes & Criminals, Criminal Sonny Carisi, Getting Together, Hurt Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Organized Crime, Running Away, Some angst, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:08:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27505075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsLitaE/pseuds/ThisIsLitaE
Summary: Rafael Barba has been using his position as an ADA to assist the Carisi crime family. One night, a beaten Sonny Carisi comes to him after a job gone wrong. An opportunity arises for the two men to leave their lives of crime behind and finally be together.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: Barisi on the Run [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067009
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55
Collections: Barisi Professions Bingo





	Dealing with Feelings

The moment Rafael Barba stepped into his apartment, he could tell something was amiss. It was a survival instinct he’d learned to perfect since joining the payroll of the Carisi crime family. The gut feeling was confirmed as he noticed the faint light coming from his bathroom and some scuff marks on the floor beside him. Rafael’s heart beat loud and fast as he pondered what to do next. The envelope full of drug money felt like it was burning a hole through the breast pocket of his jacket.

He listened carefully for any noise, wondering who it could be. Rivals to the Carisi’s had never been a problem for Rafael. Even if they had figured out he was a drug dealer and informant for Dominick Carisi Senior, the smart ones knew better than to mess with a prosecutor. Still, he couldn’t discount a new player, with more guts than brains, trying to earn their stripes.

Rafael wondered if the police had finally caught up with him and his double life. He had always known there was a risk of one of his cocaine addicted colleagues tipping off the cops. Officially, the police would need a warrant to be on his property but, after years of working as an ADA, Rafael knew there was always a loophole to be exploited. However, there didn’t appear to be any of the obvious police ransacking happening in his home.

The windows offered little light, leaving Rafael to adjust his eyes. While turning on the lights was the preferable option, he didn’t want to risk provoking the intruder. Rafael slipped quietly into his living room area, kneeling down to retrieve his gun hidden in the couch. He didn’t want to use it, particularly given the low visibility, but felt safer having it. He deduced the best course of action was to slip back out the front door, with his gun, and wait.

As he began to retreat, a groan sounded from his bathroom. Rafael paused at the familiarity of the noise. He started walking cautiously up his hallway, towards the thin beam of light. Once again, there was a pained sound barely above a whisper. Rafael discarded his gun on the nearby bookshelf. Suddenly, he found himself worried for a new reason.

“Sonny?”

Rafael pushed open the bathroom door to find Dominick Carisi Junior, also known as Sonny, staring back at him. Rafael’s mouth dropped open at the sight. Sonny’s handsome face and silvery blonde hair were speckled with blood. Around one of the pale blue eyes was an angry red swelling, indicating the beginnings of a bruise. Lean as he was, Sonny could hold his own in fights with muscle bound thugs. The fact that he was in such a state made Rafael panic about the state of affairs.

“What are you doing here? What the hell happened?” Rafael asked, his voice filled with concern as he moved to be beside Sonny.

“Sorry to drop in like this. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Sonny explained as he continued wiping away the blood from a cut on his cheek. “The deal was an ambush. Anderson, the dirty cop, screwed us over. Two of his guys jumped me and Anderson held a gun right to my face. If Gina hadn’t taken care of it, I probably wouldn’t be here.”

Rafael felt bile rising in the back of his throat. The thought of Sonny being in such a near death position hit a nerve. He knew that, despite being his father’s namesake, Sonny didn’t want any part of the family business. Rafael had seen the smart and protective man beneath the name. But being Dominick Carisi Senior’s only son meant saying no was never an option.

“I’ll get some ice for your eye.”

“You know, seeing a guy get shot inches from my face, it made me realise what’s important.” Sonny grabbed Rafael’s hand, running a thumb across the knuckles. “I don’t want to do this anymore. Hell, I never really wanted to do this, I was just born into it.”

Rafael gave Sonny’s hand a squeeze. He took a moment to savour the skin contact he had long craved. There had always been an unspoken connection between the two men. Rafael could feel it in Sonny’s lingering touches and playful banter. Despite the temptation to go further, they held back to ensure each other’s safety. The homophobic Carisi Senior would hardly allow the heir to the throne to be with a drug dealing male prosecutor. 

“The old man’s not just going to let you leave,” Rafael replied quietly, picturing worst case scenarios in his head.

“That’s why I have to run. I have some cash and fake passports to get by.” Sonny tipped up Rafael’s chin so their eyes met. “I didn’t want to leave without seeing you first.”

“I could help you cut a deal with the DA.” Rafael touched Sonny’s chest, feeling the gentle rise and fall with each breath. He didn’t want it to be the last time they saw each other. “You could turn evidence and I’ll make sure they protect you.”

Sonny sniffed out a laugh. “You know better than anyone that doing the right thing doesn’t always get the right results.”

Rafael let out his own sad chuckle in response. “You mean because I’m regularly selling cocaine to lawyers who make a living putting people away on drug charges?”

Sonny’s expression turned serious as he stepped closer to Rafael. “I mean because even though you did the right thing your whole life, it didn’t stop your prick dad’s medical bills from wiping your family out.”

Rafael felt a fist involuntarily curling at the mention of his father. Even in death, the man still managed to kick them down. The truth was, he wouldn’t have agreed to work with the Carisi family if the money hadn’t been so desperately needed. But it wasn’t long before Rafael justified that he was entitled to a taste of the good life. Lobster dinners and tailored suits were attractive incentives after a life of canned beans and shabby clothes. The deeper he fell and the more he earned, the easier it was to see the true blindness of justice.

Sonny leaned in so their foreheads touched. “This isn’t easy for me. But if I talk, I’m as good as dead.”

Rafael looked into Sonny’s eyes, trying to think of another solution. “Isn’t there anything I can do to protect you?”

“Rafael -”

Before Sonny could protest, Rafael closed the gap between their lips. He claimed the kiss that he had waited too long to feel. Opening his mouth, Rafael allowed Sonny’s eager tongue to greet his. He moaned at the taste, wanting more of Sonny’s passionate kiss. Rafael slid his arms around the athletic body and pressed their two midsections together. The moment was ruined when Sonny pulled back, letting out a little hiss of pain.

“Did I hurt you?” Rafael asked, apologetically. He slowly lifted up Sonny’s shirt, exposing the marks made by fists. “Oh god, Sonny.”

“You can always kiss it better,” Sonny quipped, managing a small smile in attempt to hide his pain.

Rafael took the flirty suggestion and bent down to Sonny’s stomach. His fingers traced around the abused skin. Rafael brushed his lips over the forming bruises, gently as not to hurt Sonny further. He wished that different circumstances had him kissing the other man’s body.

“I’m going to miss you, Rafael.” Sonny reluctantly stepped away. He turned to the sink and resumed cleaning the cut on his cheek.

It was that moment that a determined Rafael made his decision. He stood up to state his intention. “No you won’t. Because I’m coming with you.”

Sonny shook his head, gripping the sink. “I won’t put you in that kind of danger.”

Rafael placed a hand on Sonny’s back, stroking between the shoulder blades. “I put myself in danger when I took the money to sell drugs and pass on case information.”

Sonny looked at the man he had grown to love. He needed to be sure that Rafael understood the consequences of running away. “This isn’t a rash decision to make. If you leave, you can’t come back. Everything you know is gone. You can’t contact anyone, not even friends or family.”

Rafael felt a sting in his chest at Sonny’s words. Despite acknowledging the possibility, he’d never expected the day would come when he’d have to run. But Rafael knew Gina shooting a cop would bring out an investigation, if one wasn’t ongoing already. Whether a month, a year or a decade in the future, someone would point to Rafael to save themselves. Even if the ADA managed to strike a deal, and live to testify, disbarment would be inevitable.

“You said tonight made you realise what was important. Well, I’ve had the same epiphany.” Rafael took the towel from Sonny’s hand, cleaning the last of the blood from the silvery blonde strands. “My mother is set and, at this point, I’m just waiting to get caught. If this is the only way I can get out and be with you, I’m going to take it.”

A grin came to Sonny’s face as he slipped his arms around Rafael’s waist. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I got you a fake passport. I figured it was a long shot but I had to at least try.”

Rafael gave a slight eye roll and smirked. “Or you’re cocky and knew I would come with you.”

“Well, if we’re going to Argentina, I’m going to need to learn some Spanish.” Sonny leaned in and pecked Rafael on the lips. “Having a hot teacher is a definite bonus, though.”

Feeling his body buzz with nervous excitement, Rafael nuzzled Sonny’s nose. “I’ll go pack and you go put some ice on your eye.”

Before Rafael could exit the bathroom, Sonny grabbed his hand to stop him. “You’re sure about all this?”

Rafael was scared but, more than that, he was sure. He slid his arms around Sonny’s neck, wasting no time in pressing their mouths together for a passionate kiss. With each swipe of his tongue, he reassured the man he loved of his decision. Every fleck to the lips was a declaration of his feelings. The gentle moan into Sonny’s mouth said they would make it together or die trying. 

“Does that answer your question?”

**Author's Note:**

> *Barisi Professions Bingo - CRIMINAL  
> *I don't think I'll go for bingo, rather a "royal sampler".  
> *Partly inspired by Raul Esparza joking that shady dealings helped Barba afford his suits.  
> *Let me know what you think. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
